Vote For My Sister!!!

This goes out to all the folks hangin’ in Washington state. If you frequent the 206 area you need to get out and see my sister Lesli blastin’ vocals & guitar for the grrl rocker group Ms. Led. The group was recently nominated as one of the best punk/hardcore bands in Seattle. Help me help my sister get studio time and equipment for her band by voting for them online at the Seattle Weekly website.

Whether your off somewhere in the 509 or next door in the 425 & 253, I would appreciate any votes you can throw.

UPDATE JULY 29 - Thanks again to Roland who pointed out some of the file links were down. I have fixed that as of 6:02AM CST.

It’s all in the DNA

So late last night Michelle was plopped on the couch channel surfing when she catches this forensic program. It was called Autopsy 9: Dead Awakening and Michelle explained to me it’s a regular series on HBO (apparently her brother-in-law Rudy is a fan of the program). If you haven’t watched this program it’s very enlightening. It was interesting to see how much DNA evidence comes into play making a breakthrough in criminal cases. I should warn the weak stomached that there are some candid photographs of the murder scenes. Dinner theatre this is not.

The thing that intrigued me is some of the cases were solved over a year after the crime was committed. In one case a suspect was picked out immediately, but an undercover operation took over 15 months to draw up the proper evidence. The crime? A man poisoned his neighbors with Thallium Nitrate (commonly used in meth labs… uhm… yeah… fancy I would know that) simply because he thought the teenage boys were too loud. The wife became seriously ill, comatose and died. Her husband and two sons managed to survive. The man in his fifties, was sentenced to 30 years in prison. Further investigation showed the man regularly held parties were he & his friends attempted to plot the perfect crime.

Another interesting case involved a hit & run accident. The breakthrough evidence in the case? A single hair fiber discovered on the air bag of the crashed vehicle. The puzzling thing to me is it took one year before this case was solved. Don’t know if it was a case of the police work catching up to the technology, but many of the cases shown on the evening’s program involved one piece of evidence pointing the way.

Last night’s episode provided some insight into how forensic science plays a role in police work and the cases themselves were mind-boggling. It was definitely a reality series worth watching.

Oh and in case you missed it Michelle & I did manage to see Tomb Raider yesterday.

Movie Review: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life

Heh, there wasn’t any way Mich3lle was going to miss this on opening night. When it comes to action heroines, Angelina Jolie edges out Jennifer Garner by a small margin… at least until they make Alias into a major motion picture. *chuckle* If my baby says these chicks kick ass, I’m not going to argue.

I saw the first Tomb Raider movie on DVD. I missed it in the theatre for no particular reason, but I did enjoy the first film despite many opinions to the contrary. I have to say the sequel was not a disappointment. The film scaled back Lara Croft’s ample bosom (and the number of featured camera shots) and focused more on being an action picture. I enjoyed the fight sequences, particularly one in which Lara’s character beats a man into submission with a bayonet rifle. While I have no idea of the authenticity of the fighting style used, the scene was well done. I would have liked to have seen an action sequence on par with the suspension ballet from the first film, but a lot of the fight choreography was shot in close quarters except for one city sequence involving a helicopter. Overall I thought the cinematography was very good and the scenery shots were incredible.

There were moments where the pace of the film slowed down a bit, but nothing that proved too distracting. Angelina is said to have done many of her own stunts and I’m curious to know if that includes the jetski jump featured at the beginning of the film. The story is typical Tomb Raider fare. A rare artifact is sought out by the bad guy in hopes of destroying the world.

I think the Tomb Raider franchise will be successful, but I would like to see more done to distinguish this character from other adventure heroes. While Lara Croft is a household name to gaming aficionados, I think stories like the Indiana Jones series, The Mummy or even Charlie’s Angels are more memorable on the merit of the films.

Grade: B+ (Despite some cool fight sequences & cinematography, this film doesn’t quite have blockbuster stamped on it.)

bang your head…

I’ve got a three day weekend then just two exams and one presentation next week to finish the semester. So far the grades are holding steady. I got 100 on Tuesday’s math exam (before you Ooh & Ah it was only Algebra) so unless I come down with a case of blind rage and bludgeon someone in class I think I’ll have another 4.0 this term.

Yesterday Acidman pointed out this story about an Australian saxophonist who had his fingers cut off. There’s something under the surface on that one, but I empathize with the guy’s situation. I mean I almost cut my own fingers off once. Actually, I was only stupid enough to severe the tendons so playing Beethoven was no longer an aspiration. Of course, had I been that dedicated to my music to begin with I’m sure I would have found my place in it somewhere.

But enough navel gazing. I was inspired by the Hosemonster’s entry to rattle off about my fascination with guitars. Maybe I’ll pick up a new hobby before I get too old. Metal gods will never die.

GUITAR
Nothing but a stick with six strings
Resting against the wall… and yet,
Look closely to see
A sleek contoured body
Splashed in Iroc blue,
You strap her on and feel the cool wood in your hands.
As you place the amplifier cord in the ignition
There’s a crackling spark and you feel the power.
You here the low hum of the engines
Through the speakers.
You start our slow, strumming simple eighth note rhythms,
You want to keep control.
Your heart beats faster,
Your adrenaline kicks in and you pick up speed,
You finger dance on the fretboard
Spattering like grease in a frying pan
As you obtain speeds up to Mach 5.
A shift of the whammy bar
And notes jump seconds, fifths and octaves.
Complete control, you and the guitar are one,
You begin your last lap
Only to come abruptly to a halt….
You’ve broke a string….
The dust clears and you’re left standing,
Wanting to take one more lap,
Wishing to play one more note,
Listening to the hum of the engines
Through the speakers.

Babble On…

I will be crashing early tonight. My brain’s pounding so much I can feel my pulse in the back of my head. Managed to survive today at school even though the fates themselves aligned against me. Having survived power outages, Windows XP core dumps, corrupted files and printer errors, I was late to class this morning, but managed to show up with a completely rewritten proposal for my group English project. Fortunately, I had about two hours during class to review it with the group so we hammered out the details of items I might have missed. Got it turned in on time and now we just have to prepare for next week’s presentation. The semester ends next week, I’ll take a few days off then it’ll be on to the next term.

I will now attempt to emulate the stream-of-conscious entry posted by Rob this morning:

Be Advised All Brain Activity Has Been Suspended

Fishy, fishy in a brook,
Let me catch you on my hook.

I’ll gut and skin you nice and clean,
And rinse you off with kerosene.

I’ll hang you from a tree so high,
Then light a match and watch you burn….

====

An Ivy league theology professor was out visiting a friend at a local rural community college. She was asked to teach the class that day so she agreed. She started the class by asking the students, “what is the opposite of joy?”
“Sadness,” said one student.

“And the opposite of depression?”

“Elation,” said another

“And how about the opposite of woe?”

A tall beanpole of a man raised his hand.

“I believe that would be giddy up,”

====

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it?s a gay bar.

He says to himself, “What the heck, I really want a drink.”

When a gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, ”What?s the name of your penis?”

The customer says, “Look, I?m just not into that. All I want is a drink.”

The gay waiter says, “I?m sorry but I can?t serve you until you tell me the name of your penis.”

So the customer says, “Alright, what?s the name of YOUR penis?”

The gay waiter says “NIKE…you know, JUST DO IT.”

The customer thinks for a moment and says, ”The name of my penis is SECRET.”

The waiter says, “SECRET?”

The customer says, “Yeah … STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!”

====

Lesson for the day…

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster.

The moral of the story, drink more beer, it will make you smarter.

====

Yesterday USA Today reported that scientists have revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of lager and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked incessantly without making sense, and couldn’t drive.

====

Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.

She says, “Put that away, Johnny. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”

Little Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”

Trying to placate him, she says, “OK. I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?”

He says, “I wanna play Mommy and Daddy.”

Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, “Fine, I’ll play. What do I do?”

Little Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.”

Figuring that she can easily control the situation Mom goes upstairs. Little Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.

His mother raises her head and says, “What do I do now?”

In a gruff manner, Johnny says, “Get downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”

The Morning Brief

OK, somebody better get the AC in the graphics lab fixed. I woke up this morning to 88?F outside only to arrive in class where it’s 57?F. Guys are not meant to have perky nipples, despite what Martin Lawrence might have you think. Cripes it’s cold enough to make John Holmes look like Pee-Wee Herman. “It’s so cold that if I took a piss, I’d have to snap it off after I’m done.” Of course, I shouldn’t complain. Back in Detroit “it was so cold that when I woke up in the morning I found a wee ice cube in my bed. I threw it in the fire and it went : FART!!!” But enough Bill Connolly? jokes there’s an entry in here somewhere.

It seems that RIAA still doesn’t have a clue. It’s not that I advocate pirating music from musicians & songwriters, but I believe the RIAA only has ITS interests in mind NOT the best interests of the artists they represent. I’ve said it many times before, the music business turned into the business of music a long time ago. I don’t agree that Napster, Kazaa & other peer-to-peer programs are the sole reason CD sales have declined. It’s crappy albums, one hit wonders and the same garbage recycled every hour on the hour via Clear Channel radio stations. As Kristen said “It’s about time that we all turned off the radio.” [no permalink, entry dated July 12th] So while the RIAA attempts to bully folks into submission remember that you should fight for fair use copyrights and it’s about getting monies into the artist’s hand NOT some greedy corporation.

In keeping up with the latest blog trend I will refer you dear readers to MY MP3 page. You should note that the songs herein are originals performed by my sister Lesli or my buddy Ron (who had yours truly as his awesome keyboard player). Check them out if you haven’t already. I’ve posted some QuickTime clips of my sister’s band as well.

UPDATE - Better pay attention the King of Pop has something to add.

Shout out to Erik who asked for a link exchange | Found Kimbalina’s site via Orby Online | Three times the fun

Movie Review - Bad Boys II

WOW. Some cool car chase sequences in this film. Maybe there weren’t terminator cyborgs or albino ninjas with cool sunglasses, but the driving was intense, the bodies were rollin’ and the explosions were BOO YA BABY!!!

Bad Boys II makes no reference to its predecessor, we’re dropped head first into the action. As far as a character timeline it’s hard to be certain if the movie takes place eight months or eight years from the last film. Sure the plot is held loosely together and maybe there could have been more witty banter, but lack of action this film does not have. There are plenty of gun battles, car chases and they still had the time to throw in Martin Lawrence tweakin’ his own nipples. In fact, one of the chase scenes reminded me of an old Jackie Chan flick.

As with Pirates of the Caribbean, the special effects didn’t distract from the action at hand. There are some great “bullet time” sequences which captured some pretty gruesome action. Was the movie realistic? Probably not, but like Monday night wrestling this film had you cheering on the good guys as they kicked ass and made the bad guys feel the pain.

Grade: B+ (Why they chose Dan Marino to cameo I have no idea)

Movie Review - Terminator 3

I think the crowd could go either way on this one. The first Terminator built on your imagination by effectively delivering sci-fi drama through the characters Sarah Connor & Kyle Reece. T2 moved a cult classic into epic status by further developing Sarah’s character, introducing a young John Connor and adding a human element to the Terminator. The dramatic tension involving all the supporting characters (the scenes from the psych ward, Sarah’s assassination attempt on Miles Dyson) only helped to draw the viewer into the storyline.

In this regard Terminator 3 falls flat. Sure it was entertaining as an action picture, but I don’t think it matched the overall intensity of T2. While it was a film that proved “…you don’t need bullet time to make a great action scene.” it also proved that the success of this series can’t be delivered by Arnold alone. The portrayal of John Connor was disappointing. In T2 he’s a street smart hacker type, rough around the edges, but with a hint of the man he supposed to be. In T3 he’s a fallen hero who hasn’t even done anything yet. I won’t say he’s as whiny as Anakin Skywalker in Attack of the Clones, but I think the casting was just as weak. The supporting characters are just as forgettable.

The good dramatic moments are mainly tongue in cheek, Arnold learns how to “Talk to the hand.”, but mostly delivers yawning lines like“I’m back”. I was also disappointed by the ending. Perhaps my expectations were set too high by Ryan’s review, but my mind was engaged with the idea of some crazy plot twist at the very end only to arrive there and say “That’s it?!!!?!?!”

Grade: B- (It would have scored lower, but the car chase scene was pretty good)

Happy Tree Friends

Overheard today at the school library:

“So this gal wants to come stateside.”

“What girl?”

“This gal I’ve been chatting through Ultimate Singles.”

“Yeah?”

“We’ve been talking for about a month now, she lives up in New York. She’s incredibly hot.”

“Really? She sent you her picture?”

“Oh yeah, she’s sent me over a dozen pictures already. Only thing is I just found out her Visa is going to expire. Turns out she’s Russian.”

“NOOO Shit.”

“Yeah, she said she needed $600. I haven’t decided what I’m gonna do yet. She said she wants to come down here to Dallas and move in with me.”

“Dude. Might be a scam dude.”

“Maybe, but isn’t she hot?”

At this point I had to go back to class and for the briefest of moments I thought I’m not so completely screwed up after all.

All right my peeps, time to bust out some linkage:

I didn’t come across any kittens, but Agent Perry will certainly enjoy watching episodes of the Happy Tree Friends. Reminds me a lot of Itchy & Scratchy, but then so do Ren & Stimpy. If you’re looking for gruesome with a purpose check out the little ninja boy series Ninjai that’s be making the rounds over at Atom Films. And if you’re looking to walk your dogma I’m sure the cartoonist over at Sinfest has a few funnies that will make you laugh. (Those that have been hangin’ here for a while know I love me some Sinfest)

Hump Day Hoozas! to Kristen (need the 411 on the blog name girlie), Melissa who turned some new folks on to my blog and Jer who sent me a cool e-mail AFTER tellin’ his peeps about my blog.

Movie Review - Pirates of the Caribbean (The Curse of the Black Pearl)

Damn it all Ryan beat me to it. I concur, this is a FANTASTIC MOVIE! Best movie I have seen this year. Go see it, go see it NOW!

(I’ll dissent from the ranks and say I liked it better than X2, but then I’m a hardcore comic fan)

Tonight I felt the movie magic. I was thoroughly engaged by this film, the acting, the cinematography and best of all the storyline. I didn’t feel compelled to do a book comparison, there was no haunting sequel expectations, I didn’t deluge myself in reviews before visiting the theatre. Ah, this was entertainment.

Johnny Depp was fabulous. Not since Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys or Val Kilmer in Tombstone have a I really enjoyed an on screen character so much. In fact the entire cast had a hand in making the film engaging. The women will swoon over Orland Bloom (it’s Legolas guys) while us gents get a taste of how sassy Keira Knightly can be (I love it when a strong woman can still be feminine). I was very impressed with the special effects of the movie as they did their job ENHANCING the film not taking away from it. I would write more, but I can’t think of what to say beyond giving EVERYTHING away.

Grade: A+ (I like it when I’m pleasantly surprised)

UPDATE - Ryan has even more good things to say over at The Ward, Kevin liked it and it got one Wizbang of a review.

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